When God Introduces Himself

I knew of God from my upbringing, but I hadn't known Him until recently. I was twenty years old when God placed in my heart to seek Him. At twenty years old, I bought my Bible. In my heart, I knew the first page I was led to would be the emergence of my identity in Christ. It was Hannah's Prayer, a barren woman who praised God before He blessed her womb to birth one of the first prophets, Samuel. The first book of Samuel has been centripetal to my biblical literacy. As I continue to create episodes and blogs, it will be evident to my readers and listeners that the Book of Samuel resides in my heart. A few weeks ago, I reread the first few chapters, and the Holy Spirit revealed why God isolates His children. 

Samuel's mother, Hannah, dedicated him to God before conception. Hannah is an exemplary servant of the Lord. She sought partnership with the Lord while in her heartache from being barren and antagonized by her husband's other wife, Peninnah. Elkanah was a Levite; the tribe of Levi is significant because of their priesthood. Around the age of five, more or less, Samuel was taken to Shiloh, where Eli, the priest who blessed Hannah, resided. 

Samuel comes from a lineage that was anointed for priesthood; his mother was a good-fearing woman who knows what God is capable of. He was raised by a priest he ministered under from early childhood. Yet, Samuel did not know of the Lord. God was not revealed to him. This detail puzzled me because Samuel was surrounded by godly people; his birth was a testimony of what God can do for those who seek him. Samuel lived in a temple but was unaware that God was the one who spoke to him. 

For two years of reading first Samuel, I've had a sense of connection to Hannah, my chosen namesake. But, it is young Samuel who I can relate to the most when it comes to my journey with God. Adolescent Samuel is like most of us who have begun our journey with God later in life. There is a difference between knowing of God and knowing God. We can be raised in church, have prayer warriors for mothers and grandmothers, become individuals who love others and do what's right -- and still not know God for ourselves. The Most High wants to reveal Himself to you and you alone. We are all His children, but no one's relationship with God is the same. 

My mother has three children; we are roughly a decade apart with vastly different personalities, desires, and aspirations. My mother's character is unwavering, yet we all have a different understanding of who she is. As I grow older and our dynamics shift and I can now develop a friendship with my mother, I further understand who my mother is. I can now reveal the things I've done in secret in my formative years to my mother. We can facilitate light-hearted conversations about it. My mother is the authoritative figure I've always known; I still ask her for wisdom and knowledge. I still cry to her; I share my shame, glory, secrets, etc. My mother trusts me by revealing certain things about her life that she wouldn't have told me in my younger years. 

Although it was in my heart to seek God, worldly pleasures continued to hold me tight. I ran away from God selfishly because I didn't want to die to self, the purest form of love. I had only read my Bible once, only Hannah's Prayer, and my Bible collected dust for months. 

One evening, I was in my room, and the Roku TV was on its main screen. For weeks, the remote was missing, so we had to rely on the remote app to navigate the TV. The television began to funnel through its applications. No one was using the remote app. I checked my phone and scoured the covers for a remote to no avail. The TV, endearingly named Robin, finally rested at Bible Stories for Kids. I'm intently watching this transaction. Not only does Robin sift through all of our apps, but also selects an app and the episode. The episode is about Joseph, not Jesus' stepfather, but the one with a coat of many colors, who is sold into slavery by his brothers. 

God delivered an angel to my room that evening to facilitate my first personal encounter with God. In that transaction, I knew that God wanted my attention. He knew that my spirit desired a relationship with Him, but my earthly body was halting. 

My heart posture shifted after that night. My relationship is still fresh; I am still learning. But, I want you to know, yes, you: El Roi, is the God who sees you. He wants a personal relationship with you. He knows your heart. He knew you before he crafted the world. He placed in all of our hearts to seek Him. But, I might also add. God introduces Himself when there is peace in your environment. God introduced himself to Samuel at night, when his mind was rested when Eli was asleep. God made his introduction to me when I was in a state of peace, I wasn't occupied by my phone, and when my family wasn't interacting with me. 

I hope this resonates with you. Stay connected for the first podcast episode that directly relates to this message. 

I love you! 

Chana Clementine